


I didn't mind

by ImmortalAcorn



Series: Memories of Draco Malfoy [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV First Person, Secret Relationship, Self-Reflection, Swearing, confused feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:58:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn
Summary: I couldn’t stop it any more.The terrible thing was I didn’t want to stop it.I enjoyed myself too much.I enjoyed him too much.





	I didn't mind

Why did it keep happening? I asked myself every time.

Because I didn’t stop it that was the answer.

I didn’t stop it because I was confused. Frustrated. Angry. Aroused. Stupid.

It was so wrong on so many levels.

And I didn’t exactly hate it.

As much as I wanted to.

We fucked often. And then some more.

I was still surprised every time he came.

I never came to his place. At least that way I could lie to myself that I at least tried not to continue the madness.

I felt horrible because it was so good. I felt betrayed when he didn’t come. I felt sick because I wanted him so much. I felt confused because it was angry and tender at the same time.

I felt too much.

We never really talked. I didn’t mind. Though it seemed Potter did.

Sometimes he asked me things like: ‘How are you? What were you doing today?’ and alike.

I answered in the kindest manner I knew. ‘Cut the bullshit,’ or ‘Shut up.’

He always snorted. Then we fucked.

I couldn’t stop it any more.

The terrible thing was I didn’t want to stop it.

I enjoyed myself too much.

I enjoyed _him_ too much and too frequently.

And I still wanted him more. And constantly.

I was fucked beyond measure.

But I knew it had to stop some time.

It wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t sane it seemed.

The only thing on my mind was him.

But absolutely the worst thing was that I started forgetting my reasons. Why I hated him, why it was terrible, why it couldn’t continue or why I was such a fool.

So I kept repeating it, aloud, over and over again.

And although I managed to remember, it didn’t change anything.

He came and I let him in.

  



End file.
